After years of uncertainty, he reached a turning point in 2013, when he met the Christian philosopher and apologist, Ravi Zacharias, who then became his mentor in the Christian faith. Since then, Hayden has pursued studies in Christian apologetics at Oxford, has had his medical license reinstated and now helms the product and services development head as well as the marketing Director of Belo Medical Group as well as several other businesses and non-profit organisations. He is also happily married to his longtime partner, Dr Vicki Belo, with whom he has a daughter, Scarlet Snow.
What were your thoughts and emotions at that time?
In two words, hopelessness and meaninglessness. I realised that the gap between what I was and what I had imagined myself to be became so irreconcilable that there was no way I could recover. I was a godless hedonist at that time, so to no longer have anything to “eat, drink, and be merry” for was, to me, a paralysing predicament. I ran away from God a decade before the crisis, but with nothing and no one to run to. GK Chesterton once said, “Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain. Meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure.” I learnt that truth when I hit rock bottom. Running away from God to pursue pleasures brought to me to a dark place. I was alone, in fear and ashamed.
Did this steal your resolve for redemption or were you resigned to your fate?
I didn’t really think of some future redemption at that time, nor did I think that all the things that were happening were somehow just a fulfilment of a preprogrammed “fate”. The things that were happening to me were the result of my own self-centredness, lust and pride. The only option I could think of at that time was to just escape the situation by ending my life. And that’s what I did. I tried to take my life in December 2008 and December 2009. Somehow, I felt that’s the only way to stop the pain, while somehow giving those I’ve hurt some justice.
How did public opinion affect the way you saw yourself and do you find that the public was forgiving?
It was difficult because, at that time, I defined myself according to how people perceived me. It’s a very dangerous error in thinking. I came to realise that 99.9 per cent of people generally don’t actually think of me, and they don’t actually bother to think if I’m worthy of forgiveness or not. It was just my egocentricity telling me that I occupy precious space in people’s minds. People have their own personal “monsters and giants” they have to deal with. It’s a very humbling realisation and also a freeing one.
Is there any advice you can give to someone who is experiencing such hardship but doing so in private and often alone?
Remember that God will give you the faith and strength you need in order to overcome the trials of life whether it’s something that was done to you, or something you did to yourself, or a calamity outside your control. When you cry out to Him, God will reveal who you are in His eyes and why you are here. That there is love, hope and redemption waiting for you. Cast your cares upon Him because He cares for you. Another suggestion is to look for godly people who have gone through similar crises and have successfully hurdled it. Ask for guidance and advice. Also, live in truth. The only reason you should be believing something and acting on it is because it’s true. There is no point believing something only because it makes you happy. Lastly and most importantly is to pray.
What’s your proudest achievement and did your setbacks help you get there?
What I am most grateful for right now is that I have been given the privilege to love and take care of Vicki, as her husband, and Scarlet Snow,
as her father. I think the moment of “my proudest achievement” is yet to come, and I am certain there will be more setbacks in the future. I have learnt to embrace them and acknowledge that they’re meant to make me a better person. It may delay my goals, but that’s okay. I’ve already learnt that the shortest route is not always the best route, because it can bypass some of life’s most important lessons.
Hayden Kho’s simple social media post containing a Bible verse triggered quite an avalanche of criticism, and with it, a reminder of God’s gracious gift of forgiveness for those who call on him.
The verse was 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
The person who posted the verse was Dr. Hayden Kho—and that explains some of the critical responses.
Meggie Sy’s response on Instagram represented most of the criticism: “This coming from you is a joke.”
To understand the critique you have to know something about Dr. Hayden Kho, a celebrity in the Philippines but not very well known in the West.
Kho went to Christian schools but was a self-avowed atheist. He is a plastic surgeon to the stars who worked in the Philippines’ largest cosmetic surgery business. He became famous as a television actor, earning the moniker “Doctor Hunk” for his stunning good looks.
But in 2008, his idyllic life disintegrated. He was embroiled in a series of sex videos of himself with other local and foreign celebrities. The videos showed up on the Internet without his knowledge and consent.
He was tried publicly on national television as part of a senate hearing. He was also taken to court in both criminal and civil cases.
His case was dubbed the most controversial sex scandal in Asia.
The Professional Regulation Commission deemed Kho “immoral” and unfit to practice medicine and stripped him of his license to practice in 2012.
The fall was great and Kho turned to drugs and alcohol to ease the pain…and finally to attempt suicide, twice.
“When the (sex) scandal happened, it was like being caught in a flood,” said Kho. “Every problem that came my way before was like a downpour. Since I’ve been underwater for so long, what was another downpour? But when they took away my license…it was a totally different experience.”
In the scandal’s aftermath, Kho said, “I lost my name and my so-called friends.” No one came to his defense.
Hayden Kho Meets Ravi Zacharias
Instead, he went in search of answers. The journey took him to a private talk by Ravi Zacharias in Manila.
Kho’s friend Dioceldo Sy, owner of Ever Bilena cosmetics, had an extra ticket to Zacharias’ talk that night.
Having read Zacharias’ book Has Christianity Failed You? as part of his research before choosing to become an atheist years ago, Kho also knew the author’s background as an engaging writer and leading Christian apologist.
Soon after Zacharias’ talk about the truth behind the Gospels, Kho’s hand was the first to be raised with a question.
“I asked a question that soon turned into a confession,” Kho said.
As Zacharias recalled, Kho said that he was “living with pain, shame and guilt.”
“Tears were running down his face,” said Zacharias. “He began by asking me what meaning can he find in life. That was where the dialogue between us began.”
Zacharias had no idea who Kho was and didn’t know his story. He told his staff later that Kho looked like a man made for the movies and yet he was talking about life’s meaninglessness.
Zacharias is fond of quoting a line from theologian G.K. Chesterton; “Meaninglessness doesn’t come from being weary of pain. Rather, it comes from being weary of pleasure.” Kho personified that insight.
Hayden Kho Prepares for Ministry
Kho started meeting often with Zacharias. He took time off from his job and put aside his acting projects to travel the world attending many of Zacharias’ events. And after each, he had plenty of questions.
Zacharias said, “He longed for hope, and I told him God is the only one big enough to change a person’s heart and begin anew.”
Kho says he plans to be active in Zacharias’ ministry. In the meantime, he regularly attends Sunday service at the Christian Commission Fellowship and also gives testimonies about his life before groups both small and large.
And he talks about his newfound beliefs on social media, even in the face of ridicule and personal attacks.
In that Instagram post that gained so much reaction, Kho wrote in the caption:
“‘There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact.’ As written in Scripture, ‘The two become one.’ Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never ‘become one.’
“There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for ‘becoming one’ with another.”
The celebrity plastic surgeon has turned his life around and that’s no joke.
Kho says his former life of sex, drugs and suicide can now described by forgiveness, hope and joy.
https://churchleaders.com/news/329989-meet-the-doctor-from-asias-most-infamous-sex-scandal.html/2
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