Narrated by Lola Ademuwagun.... A story of trust in God, unwavering faith and being principled.
"I got married for the first time on February 14th 2019 , three months and 1 week to my 49th birthday. To think the first time God spoke about my marriage was just after I clocked 26...hmmm. He had asked my closest friend and prayer partner, Late Omonike Akinjide to tell me not to help Him with regards to my marriage as He wanted to honour me. At that time I had no understanding of the words as marriage wasn't what was uppermost on my to do list as I was more concerned about my career. I had just finished my MBA at Manchester Business School and getting a good job seemed more important. Although I had been praying for a good and godly husband since I turned 21, who would have thought it would take 28 years of investing in prayer and 23 years from when God first spoke till it manifested in the natural.
My journey had its ups and downs but when I reflect there were many lessons learnt and these are what I want to focus on;
When God speaks about something it often dies first and then rebirths in His own way.The following words from Oswald Chambers are a summary of my 23 year wait and 28 year journey. "Gods method always seems to be vision first, and then reality, but in between the vision and the reality there is often a deep valley of humiliation. When God gives a vision and darkness follows, waiting on God will bring you into accordance with the vision He has given if you await His timing. Otherwise you try to do away with the supernatural in God's undertakings. Never try to help God fulfil His word" .
Every child of God is running a specific race that is unique to them so its okay not to marry in your 20's, 30's, 40's etc like your friends...Late Nike married at 29 though we prayed together and agreed about our spouses every Monday for a whole year, I only just did at 48. When Nike was getting married in 1998 she had asked Joke( another close friend of mine) and I to write out what we wanted in our hubbies as God had given her all she asked for. Joke got her list answered 10 years after we agreed and mine 21 years after.
Don't ever compare yourself with anyone. He is faithful who promised and giving up should never be an option as you have grace sufficient for your race.
Ha the humiliation...I was laughed at by many and I even laughed at myself..."oldest virgin in Lagos", that's what I was called when I attended a party ( full of my Obafemi Awolowo University alumni ) with my late bestie's husband...I was only 30 then...can you imagine what would have been said now as I stayed one till I consummated only after I married the husband God gave at 48? I still think it's funny and can't blame anyone who laughed but hey on the day I met my hubby and I mentioned my name, his words were " Lola Fadojutimi, no scandal in ISI and I finished it with, still no scandal. For the first time someone appreciated what I was 'ashamed' of for so long. Its definitely okay to obey His word even when it's not popular or in vogue.
You have been redeemed from the curse of the law, and are a bonafide beneficiary of Abraham's blessings too. Your delay in area of marriage or any area is not as a result of an ancestral curse ...gosh it's not your great grandfather and mothers sins you are being punished for, as I was told often.
Sometimes our delays are part of the process and when we decide on a short cut we do miss out on destiny. It's also impossible to bind and loose God, so all those deliverance sessions some well meaning brethren suggest are just futile activities...devil isn't that strong. Greater is God in you than the devil in the world so don't believe the lies. God is more interested in process than end result. My hubby and I have so many friends in common but our paths never crossed since we left secondary school in 1986( I didn't know him but knew of him then while he knew me). When it was the appointed time we met without introductions. In hindsight I am so glad I waited as he really compliments me. I couldn't have done this, only God could have and he needed time to work on both of us. I tell Segun, I would continue to be a better me as long as I spend time with you. He is cool and calm as cucumber and I am...
It is God that works in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure...there is grace for your specific race. Once you are willing to do it His way the supply of grace just doesn't run out. I did not have many boyfriends prior to meeting my hubby. In fact my last relationship finally ended in 2006...so over 12 years of "man desert " in which I probably had few dates in between. I had prayed I did not want choices and only wanted His choice after my last missionary dating. There were very tough seasons, loss of my dad in a plane crash , my mum to cancer,, challenges with my career and finances too, spathes of hopelessness but God held my hand though all the fire.
I will conclude by stating that believing God and not giving up on my dream was probably my most important lesson. This meant I did not put my life on hold but lived fully while trusting for the manifestation of things promised. I travelled far and wide, started a bible study group, taught teenagers at my local church, birthed a couple of businesses, invested wisely, enrolled for various career advancing courses, exercised, baked, cooked, entertained and continued praying for 28 years while holding fast to my confession...no good thing will God withhold from the upright...marriage is a good thing the bed undefiled.
I had written a book in 2013 and dedicated to my husband whom I did not know nor met( I have now inserted his name and it's been printed to be released next month, God willing)...I talked about children as if I already had them...I spoke what I knew in my heart until Gods appointed time.
"We often think receiving what we have been guaranteed ought to be a catwalk, but scripture shows the opposite is often true. The most profound things God promised were often fulfilled against the greatest odds and through the most difficult hardships. To God, faith is often the point. God does nothing cheaply. Perhaps the divine nature of a promise fulfilled guarantees its expense. We may receive a hundred unexpected things from God with delightful ease while the fulfilment of some of the things we believe He promised proves virtually impossible. You see the impossibility is what makes the fulfilment of the promise fall under God's category. God makes promises man simply cant keep"...Beth Moore
To all the single Ladies...God is faithful, let's not help Him....if He gave me a godly man with character who adores me, He will do same and more for you too...."
