Tiffany Thompson's Story
“I was raised in church, however, I had a dysfunctional view of who God is. I viewed Him as a taskmaster – meaning that if I did good, I was rewarded and if I did bad I was punished severely. And I had that view from childhood up until my teenage years. We were raised in a church, I’m the baby of 8 children, from Detroit, Michigan, I need to preface by saying that I honor my Father and mother, they did the best that they could. And even though I grew up in a dysfunctional home. I must say that I can’t imagine doing what they tried to do, they did their best. However, there was always some sort of upheaval, some kind of disorganization, some kind of chaos in my home, and as the baby of the house, I was always in the middle of it. I couldn’t understand, I thought ‘I’m the little one, somebody come and save me.’ So I witnessed a lot, a lot of things that I’m not proud of to say that I witnessed, but for whatever reason, I did witness it. My father died when he was 48 years old. And that had a devastating effect on me because I was 8 at the time. I was just getting to know him and I didn’t really understand the concept of death and no one explained it to me, all I knew was that he was never coming back and I couldn’t understand it.
Shortly thereafter, my mother remarried and I would like to say that it got better for us, but it actually went worse. It went from bad to worse. And that’s when I began to develop a very deep depression, a very deep insecurity, I didn’t know who I was, I didn’t know who God made me to be, so I began to question my existence, I didn’t understand why God made me, so I didn’t want to live anymore. In my teenage years, I began to…. I actually stand here today as a miracle because I attempted suicide twice, and it failed for whatever reason, I couldn’t understand, all I can say is by God’s grace I’m still here. During that time, I met a young lady, she was my grade school best friend. Her name was Shanda. And we clicked immediately, and now I understand why we clicked, because she also was very suicidal, and she was also very depressed. And we just had something so in common, and I thought nobody could have a darker life than me and this young lady could. And we just bonded immediately, we made it all the way to our senior year and I remember on a Friday night I called my friend Shanda because I hadn’t heard from her in two weeks and I said, ‘hey Shanda its good to hear from you’ and she said, ‘Hey’. We had a very short conversation. I said, ‘hey maybe after we graduate next week, we can get together and spend two weeks. She said sure, never once did she hint that something was wrong. That was Friday. On Monday, her mother called me and said she was dead. She had shot herself in the head. I never did deal with the pain of losing my best friend and I just needed to escape, so believe it or not, I escaped through church, I escaped through façade. I wasn’t living an immoral life. However, it still was a façade, it was a cover up for me because I didn’t know how to deal with my friend’s death. Two years into serving in the ministry, we began to see some things in the leadership that was very very disheartening and as a result, I hardened my heart even more. I said okay, if I can’t find solace in church, then I just quit, I began to put up walls. But one thing that I noticed was that when I put up those walls, not only did I keep people out but I kept God out. From that moment, I said I’m just gonna pursue my studies. I got accepted into a conservatory. During that time, I met my college sweetheart, and we were both Christians, and after I graduated I began to work professionally as an actress. Filmed TV Broadway for about four, five years. I came back from doing a job on the west coast, and I ran into my college sweetheart. There was something very dysfunctional about our relationship and we couldn’t see it, even though we were both Christians. Well, I ended up conceiving out of wedlock. And again I found myself in a situation that I thought I would never be in. First of all I couldn’t believe I put myself in that situation, but here I was, pregnant. I began to take matters in my own hand and I decided that I would abort my child. I gathered money together, went to the clinic, gave the money to the doctor examining me. She said, “Tiffany, you need to sit up, I cannot operate on you.” I said, “why?”, she said because you are too early. She said, come back in two weeks. She said we’ll keep the deposit, you just come back in two weeks.
So two weeks, I had a chance to choose life or choose death. Within those two weeks, all I can tell you is that there was a war going on in my mind that you will not even believe. I’m not a person who says I hear from God, because I’m just humble to serve him, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I heard God’s voice and He said Tiffany choose life. And I did not know at the time that my child was going to be a girl. But He told me, choose the name Zoey. I just kept hearing Zoey, Zoey. And at the end of the two weeks, I said yes Lord. I said okay. I won’t even go back and get the money. And I remember, beign on the train and I remember I never ever really looked up, but one day I looked up on my way from the abortion clinic, and I saw in big black bold letters, PRAY. And right then and there, I knew God was trying to get my attention. God was trying to knock down all the walls that I had put up. I thought it was rightfully so, but God was trying to get me from a place where the enemy was trying to destroy me. So I decided to keep my child, nine months later, I had my child, it’s a girl. I had no idea she is gonna be a girl. I named her Zoe. Lost every friend that you can imagine, lost every connection that you can imagine, lost my agents, lost my integrity, was humiliated but yet I chose life. And I said Thank you Jesus for giving me the grace to choose life. Believe it or not, I was working still as a single mum, and as an actress and I was working professionally but I was unsettled. And God said okay Tiffany, you chose life, you obeyed me, but I need you to give it all to me. I need you to lay it down. And I said God it’s so hard because I built my whole life around this. What am I supposed to do. I was supposed to be a doctor. I’m an actress, I don’t even have a plan B. What am I supposed to do? Trust me Tiffany, just do it. Trust me. And I said okay God, whatever you want I’ll do it. Whatever you want. That was in Feb 2010. I stopped going out on auditions, I just began to pray, and got a call from Mr Greg Thomas here in the Music ministry (at Times Square Church) and he asked me to come in and long story short, he asked me have I ever considered working full time in the ministry. And I just laughed, I said okay God, you have a sense of humor, are you serious? And he said, we are going through a few resumes and we put yours and we may consider you one if the Lord will have it, I walked out those doors. And I said Lord Jesus if this is what you have for me, if you want me, you know how I feel about church. You know two or 3 weeks later I got a phone call and Greg said we will like to have you. Would you consider coming on board? And at that moment I said yes. I’ve been serving in the ministry here since June 2010. My daughter’s name is Zoe. She is the most adorable young lady that I have ever laid my eyes on. She has taught me how to love, she had taught me how to break down the walls. I’ve still got so much work to do, but all I could tell you, if I could encourage anybody or any person who has to deal with maybe abortion may not be it, maybe suicide may not be it. But if I can encourage anybody today, I would tell you of God chose you to do something, obey because you never know, what God has in store. I don’t know what my choice did, I may have lost a lot, but I gained life, and I gained eternity and my daughter is alive. “And the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy but I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” The enemy tried to steal me through suicide, he could not do it, he tried to steal me by making me to abort my child, thus destroying me, he could not do it, so I wanna encourage everybody here obedience is better than sacrifice. God bless you!
